Cocky&Rude

Not too long ago, Mr. Sombrero and I took a day trip to beautiful Sandy Hook, NJ.  It was an unseasonably warm spring day — the perfect for both of us to play hookey from work take a weekend trip to the Jersey Shore.  And since it was so early in the season, we didn’t see any fist pumping Guidos!  Just a few leather-skinned bodies and a bunch of senior citizens taking in the sights.

Sandy Hook is an erect peninsula, thrusting itself into the Atlantic Ocean towards Staten Island and Brooklyn.  It’s part National Park, part military base … and completely covered in phallic symbols.  (A portion of the bay is even named Spermaceti Cove!)

Here’s the lighthouse at Sandy Hook.

Here’s some old missiles.

Here’s a cannon and some cannon balls.

And here’s a sign that says “cock” on it!  And while I was busy taking signs of phallic symbols and signs, I also had time to pose for a few photos.

Here I am defying death and standing in a Hazardous Conditions Area.  Don’t I look scared?

And here I am telling passers by that my back door area is closed due to extremely hazardous conditions.

Sandy Hook is covered with crumbling structures from past military bases.  Some were constructed during World War II to defend our region after the attack on Pearl Harbor.  And others …

…were ERECTED a bit earlier!  Ha!

It was a nice clear day, and we could see all the way to the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge from the northern tip of the peninsula.

After dragging Mr. Sombrero all over the place and forcing him to take photos of me in silly poses, he became upset and kicked over a portapotty.  He demanded that we go spend some time on the nearest beach, which just happened to be a…

NUDE BEACH!!

After being fully warned that we’d see some p33ns and vajayjays, we entered the beach.  Luckily it wasn’t required that we stripped down to perfectly sculpted bodies, so we both wore burqas.

It was not a crowded day at the nude beach, and we only saw few ancient dangling sausages and saggy chesticles.  Lots of nudies seem to erect little fabric fences around themselves to keep some sense of modesty while they lay around in their saggy leather-skinned bodies.  It also wasn’t the warmest day … so some people (like the man in these photos) stayed warm by wearing a red windbreaker and no pants.

Mr. Sombrero was a little chilly!  (I know you’re all jealous of the sunglasses that I loaned to him!)

Aren’t we totally adorable?!

Okay, I lied.  I did whip out my tree bark-covered p33n-log just long enough for Mr. Sombrero to snap a photo.  Who needs ‘the motion of the ocean’ when “lil Adam” makes me look like a tripod?  And check out my vacation-themed red boxers!  Mr. Sombrero is a lucky, lucky man!

After some time on the beach, we took a little more time to pose for some photos, and then headed home.  But just when we thought that our fun day was drawing to a close…

We found a bowling ally!  We played two games…

And I destroyed him both times!  WINNING!  (But at least he’s consistent…)

I hope you all enjoyed our fun day as much as we did!