This week I crowdsourced a fabulous new Friday Five for you to enjoy … check it out!
I can’t decide between Downton Abbey and Homeland so I’m picking both! So let’s just say that it’s shows everyone raves about that I’m finally seeing. Yay for being cutting edge and relevant! Downton Abbey is like Pride and Prejudice meets a juicy soap opera. Mmmm, juicy. And Homeland is so good and complicated I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for. Mmmm, rooty. - Craig
For me , it’s a tie. 1), Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3 is now over, now more weekly blurbs or embarrassing weigh-in. And 2) I FINALLY GOT THE PURPLE LINE IN THE BC&RL3 WEIGHT LOSS GRAPH! I don’t care where I finished, getting the purple line means I won. So there! 
– Polt
My cool thing this week is seeing my first e-book cover with my name and the book title on it. Yes, I’ve had a couple of short stories, but the covers were generic, no names. This is the first time my name is on a specific cover. Yes, yes, there will be a few of us with the same cover for this particular series, but still – my name is right there, on his abs! Le sigh. He’s kind of pretty. So props to cover artist Reese Dante and I’m a bit thrilled to have a real cover. Fun stuff. (July 28 – buy it, make me rich!) – Tam
Cute animal videos. I don’t even want to know how much time I waste watching this nonsense. If you have 17 seconds to waste, this is for you: -Michelle M.One amazing five this week has to be yesterday’s ruling about the constitutionality of parts of the odiously named Defense of Marriage Act. The ruling doesn’t state that we lowly homos have the right to marry, but it does say that the Federal government doesn’t have the right to force the states to discriminate against us. The ruling will undoubtedly head to the Supreme Court….and given the controversy, it will be one of the final things they rule on in the next court session. Tune at the end of NEXT June for the results. Until then do what I am going to do, drink a celebratory toast and get married. – Mikey
That’s our Friday Five … What’s Yours?!
HAPPY MEATOUT! Meatout is the world’s largest grassroots diet education campaign. Today, thousands of caring people in all 50 U.S. states and two dozen other countries encourage their friends, families, and communities to “kick the meat habit” and explore a wholesome, compassionate diet of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. The purpose is to expose the public to the joys and benefits of a plant-based diet, while promoting the availability and selection alternatives to meat and dairy in mainstream grocery stores, restaurants, and catering operations. (source)
You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever?!
1. Have you ever considered a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle?
2. Have you ever been a vegetarian?
3. Have you ever been a vegan?
4. Have you ever tried an alternative milk beverage (Soy, Rice, Hemp, Almond, etc.)?
5. Have you ever tried a non-meat burger (veggie burger, soy burger, etc.)?
6. Have you ever tried a vegan baked good?
7. Have you ever purchased “mock meat” (alternative burgers, hot dogs, cold cuts, etc.) from the supermarket? (on purpose)
8. Have you ever purchased a frozen vegetarian or vegan prepared meal from the supermarket? (on purpose)
9. Have you ever tried a vegan yogurt?
10. Have you ever tried vegan cheese?
11. Have you ever tried vegan ice cream?
12. Have you ever cooked a vegetarian or vegan meal? (on purpose)
13. Have you ever tried tempeh?
14. Have you ever cooked tempeh?
15. Have you ever tried tofu?
16. Have you ever cooked tofu?
17. Have you ever tried seitan?
18. Have you ever cooked seitan?
19. Have you ever tried TVP (textured vegetable protein)?
20. Have you ever cooked TVP (textured vegetable protein)?
21. Have you ever read literature that explains how a vegan lifestyle is better for the planet?
22. Have you ever read literature that explains how a vegan lifestyle is better for your health?
23. Have you ever watched a sad PETA-style video that illustrates how factory farmed animals are poorly treated?
24. Have you ever purposefully purchased vegan clothing (faux leather, non-leather shoes, etc.)
25. Have you ever made fun of a vegan or vegetarian?
Barf up your total in the comments!
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In case you didn’t know, everyone’s favorite bunny has decided to get a pet.
Which of these animals will make the cut?
has had rabbits before. He wants a pet that will be a little more interactive.
Allergies.
Too big.
Too lame.
Too Richard Parker.
A disaster in the making.
Salmonella!
Boring.
Probably none of these – john seems to be leaning towards a dog. Instead of a parakeet.
Which is silly, because, as everyone knows, parakeets are as good as or even better than dogs.
Their poops are smaller and easier to clean up
You’ll never see them pulling a “Toby”
They are cheaper (food, toys, care) than a dog
You don’t need to walk them
They bathe themselves
They will vote for you in important C&R elections
They don’t slobber all over you when you kiss them
They won’t hump your leg
They don’t have bad breath
They sing along to the radio with you
They love youtube
They can fly
They can talk (even though it’s creepy)
They get along well with rabbits
He recently asked for input on his facebook question of the day.
The kid suggested a greyhound – but are greyhounds and rabbits a good mix?
A lab probably isn’t a good idea either…
Tam suggested a Cavalier King Charles spaniel…
Or a pug – which is a breed john likes.
Justin didn’t weigh in, but I’m sure he would suggest a Siberian Husky.
David P. suggested a large dog,
while Polt would go for a lap dog. Maybe a poodle, like Mama Polt’s Angel.
I am partial to Shiba Inus.
Or collies. You never know when you might fall down a well.
josh said to get a nice dog.
In one of my favorite Kids In the Hall bits, Bruce McCulloch sings the praises of a terrier:
So many choices!
So, john, if you do end up with a dog, I’m sure the lucky pooch you choose will be a great addition to your life and will provide you with lots of love, joy and companionship. Just don’t put a bandanna on it.
What was Adam thinking?!
Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Submit your potential What Were They Thinking?! photos to:
cockyandrudedotcom@gmail.com
Sometimes they’re fuzzy, sometimes they’re feathered. Occasionally they’re scaly, slimy or wet. They’re your pets! But, Have You Ever…?! We’re about to find out! The rules are simple. For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments section.
1. Have you ever had a pet dog?
2. Have you ever had a pet cat?
3. Have you ever had a pet rodent (mouse, gerbil, hamster, rat, rabbit, etc.)?
4. Have you ever had a pet reptile or amphibian?
5. Have you ever had a pet insect?
6. Have you ever had a pet bird?
7. Have you ever worked at a pet store?
8. Have you ever had a pet that gave birth?
9. Have you ever worked or volunteered at an animal shelter, sanctuary (or similar location)?
10. Have you ever adopted a pet from an animal shelter, sanctuary (or similar location)?
11. Have you ever considered a pet to be your best friend?
12. Have you ever talked to your pet?
13. Have you ever made your pet talk back to you in a silly cartoon voice?
14. Have you ever been away from home and desperately missed your pet?
15. Have you ever taken time off of school or work to grieve for the loss of a pet?
16. Have you ever been attacked by a pet?
17. Have you ever killed your pet (accidentally or purposefully)?
18. Have you ever kissed your pet (in a non-sexual way)?
19. Have you ever slept in a bed with your pet (in a non-sexual way)?
20. Have you ever been naked in front of a pet?
21. Have you ever masturbated in front of a pet?
22. Have you ever engaged in sexual activities with another person while a pet was watching you?
23. Have you ever interrupted sexual activities to shoe away or yell at your pet?
24. Have you ever engaged in sexual activities while you or your partner was dressed as a pet (plushy, furry, etc.)?
25. Have you ever committed bestiality by having sex with a pet (or any other animal)?
Please make sure that your point total is leashed, up to date with its shots, and properly reported in the comments.
Teachers are always using this question as a dumb writing prompt or a way to keep the class quiet for fifteen minutes while they wait for their hangover to subside. Every kid writes down something dumb, hands it in, and the teacher chucks them in the recycling bin when no one is looking. Then it’s a on to a Disney movie and some worksheets until the bell rings! Yay!
When I was in sixth(?) grade, I was fat, tormented, a band nerd, and a closeted homosexual. Boo hoo! My language arts teacher assigned us this very question, but with a twist. Instead of describing yourself, you had to describe a randomly assigned classmate. A very dangerous proposition, as one of my tormentors could have called me something awful. But this is what I got:
Isn’t that sweet? I really liked what she wrote, and I saved it forever! AllyOop!
So, my bloggy friends, I challenge you with this: Pick a few other bloggy friends and describe them as animals. What animal is Tam, Polt, Michelle M., Mikey, John, Mush, Paul, Enrico, Craig, Josh, Ryan, Mel and the rest of the bloggy gang? Maybe they’re strong like an ox, stupid and ugly like a horse, or annoying like a fly? Or they’re faithful like dog, smart and aloof like a cat, or hairy and ugly like a human being! Tell us what you think!
 | The Incredibly Shrin… on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
 | Tam on BC&RL 2013: Part 2 |
 | Tasha on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Alexus on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
| Vagina. on 10 Reasons Why Vaginas Are… |
 | goblinbox on Biggest C&R Loser 201… |
 | Order Now! Fool Me T… on Commenter Cocktails! |
Finding The Perfect Fry
Once upon a time my favorite food was the french fry. When I was a kid, if we went to a fast food restaurant, my go-to meal would be two large fries and a chocolate shake (yikes). Back then, fries were delicious, greasy and salty. Nothing like the “healthier” fries of today (which are hard, dry and tasteless). Why they are trying to make fries “healthier” is a mystery to me. If I wanted to eat something nutritious, it wouldn’t be french fries in the first place.
After eating a few too many dud spuds, I decided to see if there were any good fries out there.
What follows is my quest for the perfect fry.
McDonald’s – Not bad. Not great. They’re best if they’re fresh from the fryer. And you have to eat them before they become cold and hard.
Jack in the Box – They taste almost exactly like McDonald’s.
Burger King – Too crisp, too dry.
Wendy’s – “Natural cut” fries. Too crispy and dry. The sea salt didn’t adhere.
Islands – They’re cut fresh daily and supposedly “cooked to perfection.” If “perfection” means so dry the salt bounces off them, then I guess they are. I wouldn’t order them again.
T.G.I. Friday’s used to have some pretty good fries – with a yummy seasoning. But not anymore.
Pass.
Chili’s – meh.
Carl’s Junior – I need some more adjectives for “dry” and “tasteless”.
Callahan’s – We usually just go here for the beer. If I have enough to drink, I usually want some french fries. Theirs are okay. But only if they’re fresh from the fryer. The cajun spice helps.
Applebee’s – Maybe the best of the bunch. Not fantastic, but not disappointing.
Arby’s – they only have the curly fries in my location (which are almost an entirely different animal, due to the seasoning), but I tried them anyway. They were greasy (which is good) but had been in the fryer a little too long (which made them too hard). I couldn’t taste the seasoning on my batch at all.
Brazen BBQ in Hillcrest – Man, were these bad. They were like the potato sticks you buy in a can from the grocery store. Sadness.
Brewski’s is a little hamburger place in my neighborhood. The burgers are good, but the fries aren’t.
Fatburger – The fat fries are pretty good. But only fresh from the fryer. You can see in the picture the shine of grease on the fry. That is always a good sign.
Five Guys – I went here with Ryan. They give you a TON of fries, which is great. And from the picture, they look nice and greasy. I was too busy yapping to remember how they tasted. I know I didn’t finish them all, but that was due to trying not too look like a pig in front of the svelte Ryan, and not because of the taste.
Red Robin – Pretty good when fresh. But not outstanding. They say the baskets of fries are “endless”, but they only put in about 5 at a time.
Sammy’s Woodfired Pizza – Dry, tasteless and disappointing. Boo.
SeaWorld – Surprisingly good. You have to eat them quickly, before the sea gulls try to swipe them.
Smashburger – These fries were horrible. So bland and dry. I didn’t even want to finish them. I threw about half of them away.
In-N-Out – Their fries are cut right in front of you, so you’d think they’d be fresh and delicious. But they’re just hard little bits of tasteless potato.
Fuddruckers fries are pretty darn good. They’re nice and soft and have a tasty seasoning on them.
Sonic – They were good. There were a few really good soggy, greasy ones in there.
As you can see, this Sonic fry passes the flaccid test.
Now that I’ve sampled so many of the fries in my area, I’ve come to the conclusion that the perfect fry no longer exists. And that french fries are no longer my favorite food. And that I need to start eating salad.
This post is dedicated to Fat Betty.
Blam!
So what french fries are good in your neck of the woods? Do you think I’ll ever eat a french fry again? Did you read this whole post? It was really long. What is your favorite food? Let me know in comments!
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