Cocky&Rude

Category Archives: Everything Else

Happy Thanksgiving!

2 Comments Posted by Mikey on November 21, 2012

Sure…it’s to promote Coke, which really doesn’t need that much promotion, but it’s amazing

Have you ever….Adam?

29 Comments Posted by Mikey on July 5, 2012

If you haven’t heard, Adam is old today. Older than old. So old that we can’t really know how old he is. He is like some sort of prehistoric, higgs boson like thing that we can’t really know until we know it. So…in honor of his defenestration of meat flaps day I give you a “Have you ever quiz” worthy of his royal redness.

The “formatting” of the photos in this post are indicative of why Mikey needs Adam. I mean, come one, this is crazy, but Mikey can not get this shit right. He sucks.

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

1. Have you ever known an Adam?
2. Have you ever known a ginger Adam?
3. Have you ever blogged about Adam?
4. Have you ever commented on a post by Adam?
5. Have you ever annoyed Adam?
6. Have you ever been annoyed by Adam?
7. Have you ever tried to annoy Adam?
8. Have you ever wanted to be like Adam?
9. Have you ever sung “born on the 5th of July” in honor of Adam?
10. Have you ever tried to steal Adam’s boyfriend?
11. Have you ever dated Adam?
12. Have you ever hated Adam?
13. Have you ever told Adam to relax?
14. Have you ever realized Adam needed to relax?
15. Have you ever chatted with Adam online?
16. Have you ever talked to Adam on the phone?
17. Have you ever asked Adam for advice
18. Have you ever given Adam advice?
19. Have you ever ignored advice that Adam gave you?
20. Have you ever met Adam in person?
21. Have you ever been to Adam’s house?
22. Have you ever met Adam’s cat Spring?
23. Have you ever “known” (in the biblical sense) Adam?
24. Have you ever liked Adam?
25. Have you ever loved Adam?

Now tally up your numbers and admit how much you love Adam. I know I do. Happy Birthday, young man!

Everything Else

Advice From The Expert… ASK ADAM!

12 Comments Posted by Adam on June 22, 2012

It seems that people are always pestering me for my expert advice. Truth be told, I’m awesome at everything. I know all of the answers. All you have to do is ask. That’s why I’m introducing my new advice column: Advice From The Expert… Ask Adam!

Dear Adam: What should I make for dinner tonight?
Signed, Starving For Supper

How about a nice micro-green salad topped with a simple ginger and garlic-spiked orange glazed tempeh! Nom!

Dear Adam: I’ve always wanted a boyfriend who was young, cute, and rich. But I only got two out of three. Should I hold out for the full package or should I settle for hot but poor?
Signed, Should I Settle?

How many young, cute and rich guys do you know that aren’t characters on Gossip Girl? Be happy that you landed 2/3 of the perfect man!

Dear Adam: I know you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, but what are you proscribed from wearing after Memorial Day?
Signed, Fashion Backwards

When in doubt … just wear plaid!

Dear Adam: How can I get my husband to clean his bathroom more often?
Signed, Wedded Pissed

Two words: WITHHOLD SEX. It’s the best way to get whatever you want! That bathroom will be sparkling in no time!

Dear Adam: A couple of vegans moved in across the street. Should I be afraid of their aggressive cult-like ways?
Signed, Confused Carnivore

Trust me, vegans are just like everyone else! … but just to be safe, make sure to lock your doors and windows after dark.

Dear Adam: My younger brother is a great guy but has no self-esteem. His lack of confidence has kept him from doing anything with his life. He’s in a dead end job, hasn’t had a relationship in years, and his circle of friends has dwindles more and more each year. I want to encourage him, but he refuses to discuss his plans or goals with anyone. I just want him to be happy, but he clearly is not. What should I do?
Signed, Sibling Misery

Don’t worry, he’ll grow up eventually. Can I have his number?

Dear Adam: What the hell should I do with my life?
Signed, Miss Direction

Become a prostitute! Prostitutes make TONS of money! You’ll be rich in not time at all!

Have a question for Adam? Email him today!

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BC&RL3 Refrigerators … Let’s Vote!

Leave a Comment Posted by Adam on April 12, 2012

Earlier today, Cocky & Rude’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3 presented you with a variety of refrigerators. Let’s vote on that crap!

Everything Else

The (not) Friday Five!

16 Comments Posted by Michelle M. on March 5, 2012

1. News interns caught on camera!

2. Harry!

Instead of doing it himself (which he is capable of, but would never get around to), Harry (finally) decided to hire a drywaller to patch up the holes and window frames in my office and in our bedroom. Hallelujah!

3. The Twilight Video Game!

4. Guest posts!

Posting is hard. Sometimes you just need a break. Adam came up with a guest post for me for Cooper’s Corner. Check it out! And if you would like to guest post for me (either here or on Cooper’s Corner, let me know! I’m lazy and not ashamed to admit it.)

5. The Girl Scout Thin Mints candy bar!

Nestle is teaming up with the Girl Scouts to produce a Thin Mints inspired candy bar. It may show up in June. I should be done with my diet by then.

Runners up: Homemade chicken noodle soup on a rainy day, library hold lists, hot water bottles, Canada Dry Ginger Ale, getting all your laundry done, and the My First Wonder Woman book (which I bought for my 3 year old niece [they have a Superman one too, Polt]).

Everything Else +500, Aargh!, ABC, admit it, adult swim, Askward, bedroom, blood soaked machete, break, Canada Dry Ginger Ale, candy bar, capable, Chicken Noodle Soup, Cooper's Corner, decide, diet, do something, drywaller, Edward, finally, Friday Five, Girl Scouts, guest post, Hallelujah, hard, Harry, hire, holes, hot water bottles, If I were married to Michelle I'd repair her drywall, interns are dumb, Jacob, Jason, June, Kristen, Kristen Stewart is lame, lame, laundry, lazy, library hold lists, lottery, love you, Michelle is lazy and she knows it, My First Wonder Woman book, nestle, Nestle Crunch, news, newsroom, nieve, not, office, polt, rainy day, registration, Robot Chicken, stare blankly, Superman, thanks Kara, that machete is soaked with Justin's blood, The Game, Thin Mints, twilight, vampire, weather center, werewolf, window frames, WUFT, you win!

It’s Taco Time!

33 Comments Posted by Michelle M. on October 26, 2011

Last night I attempted to eat ten Taco Bell tacos. Was it a taco fiesta or a taco fiasco?
Let’s find out.

First we went to Blockbuster, so I’d have something to watch while I was cramming those tacos down.

Probably not the best selection I could make…

Next we went to our neighborhood Taco Bell to pick up our dinner.

Once we got home, I changed into my eating pants (pajamas),

and got my hot sauces ready.

We caught a back episode of Jeopardy.

One of those answers should be “What is Wonder Woman?”. None of them were. Boo!

I got down to business.

Midway, I had to take a break. And then again after tacos 7, 8, 9 and 10.

The last taco almost did me in. The taco shell was soggy and I felt like I was chewing wet paper napkins. Each bite was torture. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t have room, but that I couldn’t stand the taste and texture anymore. God, it was horrible.

But failure wasn’t an option, so I persevered and forced that sucker down.

So now we know:
1) Harry should never doubt me again,
2) I will make myself ill to prove a point and,
3) I will never eat Taco Bell again.

Everything Else bite, Blockbuster, chew, Count, did Harry only eat 2 tacos? what a wimp!, down to business, eating pants, fiasco, fiesta, Food, Food Inc., God, gross, hat, horrible, Hot, hot sauce, I bet Michelle M. could eat 11 tacos, I will never eat Taco Bell again, ill, In the '80s, It's Taco Time, jeopardy!, kermit the frog, Michelle M., Michelle M. eats in front of the television, Michelle M. is a pig, Michelle M. is my hero, Miss Piggy, Muppets, never doubt Michelle M., packets, pajamas, pig, pig hat, point, prove, Shopping, soggy, stripey eating pants, taco, Taco 12 Pack, Taco Bell, taste, ten, texture, That taco bell looks weird, They Ought to make a movie, tortilla, torture, United States, wet paper napkins, Who Cares, wonder woman, yaaaay!

The Great C&R Emmy Contest: RESULTS!

5 Comments Posted by Adam on September 19, 2011

A few weeks ago, we announced the Great Cocky & Rude Emmy Contest.

The winners are: Jimmy Orsag & Beverly Chang!
Congratulations to both of you!

Here are the full results:

Please note that we threw out the category for “Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality Competition Program” because that was announced at the Schmemmys — which were held before the Great C&R Emmy Contest ballots closed. For the record, the prize went to Jeff Probst, host of Survivor.

Votes for who would be best dressed went to: Sofia Vergara, Betty White, Kate Winslet, Christina Hendricks, Cher, Chris Colfer, January Jones, and Cat Deely.

Votes for who would be worst dressed went to: Jeff Probst, Laura Linney, Melissa McCarthy, Kathy Bates, Jane Krakowski, Jane Lynch, Melissa Leo, Evan Rachel Wood, Chris Colfer, Cher, Tina Fey, Martha Plimpton, Kevin McHale, Cloris Leachman, Sofia Vergara, and Kristen Wiig.

Congratulations to everyone that entered!

Everything Else 2011, best, Betty White, Beverly Chang, Cat Deely, Cher, Chris Colfer, Christina Hendricks, Cloris Leachman, Congratulations, dressed, Emmy, Emmy Awards, Evan Rachel Wood, Great C&R Emmy Contest, Jane Krakowski, Jane Lynch, January Jones, Jeff Probst, Jimmy Orsag, kate winslet, Kathy Bates, Kevin McHale, Kristen Wiig, Laura Linney, lose, losers, Martha Plimpton, Melissa Leo, Melissa McCarthy, Primetime Emmy, reality, schmemmys, Sofia Vergara, Tina Fey, win, Winners, Worst

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Cocky&Rude

Category Archives: Everything Else

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have you ever….Adam?

Advice From The Expert… ASK ADAM!

BC&RL3 Refrigerators … Let’s Vote!

The (not) Friday Five!

It’s Taco Time!

The Great C&R Emmy Contest: RESULTS!

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