Hey, kids, Uncle Polt of Polt’s Palace here! Do to his obsession with Polt’s Ass, there’s no way Adam could focus long enough to do this post, even though I know he wants to. So I graciously decided to surprise him and do it FOR him! So here we go with….
Have You Ever…Been Polt’s Ass?
The rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have you ever?!
1. Have you ever been white?
2. Have you ever been hairy?
3. Have you ever been flat?
4. Have you ever been used repeatedly in C&R posts?
5. Have you ever been plastered all over a July photo in a calendar?
6. Have you ever been masturbatory material for Craiggers?
7. Have you ever been deserving of your own regular C&R feature?
8. Have you ever had a $100 bill sticking out of an orifice?
9. Have you ever had an arm, hand and dumbbell thrusting out of you?
10. Have you ever been seen to be laying in the middle of a street?
11. Have you ever been a victim of a freaky obsession by the even more freaky Adam?
12. Have you ever been responsible, consistently, for an increase in comments on C&R posts?
13. Have you ever been slapped by Kris?
14. Have you ever been a reason why Adam will never get rich?
15. Have you ever been admired by someone instead of them watching the super bowl?
16. Have you ever been assumed to be the exact and total opposite, like a big power bottom, of what you actually are, like a butch masculine top?
17. Have you ever been dancing….ahem, cheek to cheek with Paul’s insanely cute boyfriend Travis?
18. Have you ever been a blog post tag on C&R?
19. Have you ever been called “award-winning” by Adam?
20. Have you ever been told you’d be a good thing to pee on?
21. Have you ever been the recipient of The 2011 Lifetime Achievement Cocky Award?
22. Have you ever had Rebecca Black sing a song about you?
23. Have you ever been the C&R fan favorite?
24. Have you ever been part of The 12 Days Of Whatever?
25. Have you ever been a consolation prize to someone if Michelle M. doesn’t win the lottery?
Now, try to pull your eyes away so you can total up your score and tell us what you got in the comments!
(A special Polt-thanks to Michelle M. for allowing me to have one of her Mondays, and another special Polt-thanks to Mikey, for posting this for so it could be a total surprise to Adam!)
HUGS……
Life is harsh. Sometimes the best thing to do is slip into a nice daydream. Here’s just some of the stuff I like to imagine while I’m stargazing, woolgathering or just plain avoiding reality.
My most frequent daydream is of winning the mega millions lottery.
But The Publisher’s Clearing House prize would do just fine. I’m not picky.
After I win my millions, Harry and I will travel. Some of the places I fantasize about going to are Fiji (or any tropical island, really), Santorini, Austria, Australia, The U.K., Copenhagen and Belgium (I hear they make a good french fry…).
I like to pretend that I’m a ballerina. And not just a ballerina, but a prima ballerina assoluta.
I also like to daydream that I’m a singer/songwriter with a multi-octave range.
Here I am performing at one of my sold out concerts.
One of my favorite sports is figure skating. I like to imagine what music I would skate to, what costumes I would wear and what it would feel like to win an Olympic gold medal (in my head I have also won the gold in equestrian events, diving, skiing and gymnastics).
Have you heard? I’m (supposed to be) writing a novel. Of course, I like to think it will be a #1 best selling book. It will, of course, be optioned for a movie. And I’ll have so much fun traveling around the country staying in 5 star hotels and doing book signings. Make sure you come out to see me when I come to a bookstore near you!
Naturally I’ll win a best screenplay Oscar when I adapt my book for film. I’ll receive a standing ovation for my humble and humorous, yet touching acceptance speech.
Once I win the Oscar, maybe they’ll give me a whack at writing that Wonder Woman movie I’ve been waiting for…
All my daydreams aren’t frivolous, though. Sometimes I pretend that I’ve come up with the cure for cancer, paralysis or any other number of illnesses/diseases. The Nobel prize, Time cover for Person of the Year, money and accolades will all be secondary to the knowledge that I am helping the human race.
Some of my daydreams are actually attainable. I often wish that my house was sparkling clean, my laundry and ironing is all done, the cupboards and refrigerator are filled with food, and I’m at my goal weight. Then I can completely relax while watching movies and reading a stack of books guilt-free.
So what do you like to daydream about? Flying to the moon? Scoring the game winning touchdown? Being the homecoming queen? Stealing Mr. Sombrero away from Adam? Let me know in comments!
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It’s a C&R Dance Party!
Forget the CD Exchange (if I don’t participate, it doesn’t exist) let’s have a music exchange right here at Cocky & Rude! Each time we have a C&R Dance Party, I’ll name a theme for the day and you’ll post your responses in the form of a YouTube video in the comments. And don’t forget to dance!
Today’s Theme Is: A Song That Makes You Wanna Dance!
Link us to a YouTube video in the comments and tell us why you picked it.
Feel free to answer more than once!
I don’t claim to be a HUGE Madonna fan, but I’ve been listening to her tunes since I was a little kid. I remember sitting in the back of my mom’s car during INCREDIBLY long car rides (approx. 45 minutes) to my grandparent’s house. She’d blare Madonna music, and I’d scream when she took her hands off of the steering wheel to dance along with Vogue. For me, it’s safety first, Madonna second. And now, 20-something years later, I can’t stop dancing to Vogue either. My mom had* good taste (but don’t tell her I said that).
*Yes, “had” — now she listens to Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood. Blechk!
(And by the way, if your video doesn’t post in the comments correctly, FEAR NOT!
I’ll fix it as soon as I get a chance)
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