Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 5

Our fourth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate four weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Our dieters have accomplished nearly a month dieting. Have you wondered what they miss the most?  This week we asked each contestant what from their plumper days they miss the most? Is it food? Laziness? Or something else? Here’s what they said:


Michelle M.
Other than the metabolism of my youth, the thing I miss most is junk food (chocolate and chips, mostly). I can hardly wait until it’s time to donate blood so I can have a guilt free snack afterwards. I hope they have mini powdered donuts…


Polt
Okay, so this week it’s “What Do I Miss Most?” Well I didn’t really give up anything for the challange, but last week, my doctor put me on a low to no carb diet. So what do I miss? FREAKING CARBS!!! I miss pizza, bread, chips, pasta, donuts, potatoes, corn, peas, fries, buns, rolls, subs…oh God, I swear there was moment Monday when I would have given my left nut for a hot buttered roll! As Shakespeare said, “A cruller, a danish, my KINGDOM for an eclair!”


TwoPi
I miss not thinking about whether to buy something my mouth wants to eat. I miss not reading the nutrition labels on packaged foods. I miss giving in to my spur-of-the-moment cravings when I’m doing the grocery shopping. (I do, however, like that slightly smug feeling when I manage to walk down the junk food aisle and don’t give in, don’t put anything in the cart.) I miss not feeling like I’m at war with myself over food.


Ryan

I don’t miss beer (I still drink it) so much as I miss being able to drink without thinking about the calories. At this point, I’ve given up drinking outside of a social context. Enjoying a beer at home just isn’t worth making room for the calories. I also miss snacking. Chips or nut mixes tend to be too much of a bother when you have to measure out portions. It would also be nice to have supper be determined by what I feel like eating more than what will balance out what I ate during the rest of the day.


Tam
I miss desserts. I got in a really bad habit in early 2012 of eating dessert far too often. All kinds, cake, cookies, pie, ice-cream, it didn’t seem like a meal unless we had dessert. Since my trip I have only had the occasional Girl Guide cookie (which I faithfully recorded). I have passed on donuts, ice-cream and other baked treats. Now when I’m craving something I usually end up having a pudding cup or a jello/fruit cup. Both around 100 calories. I like both, but they’re no triple threat chocolate cake. I was super good this last week and got a crappy number. Oh well, means next week will be high right?


Mikey
I miss nothing other than ice cream at the moment. Sure it’s only early spring, but I can always eat ice cream. It’s my favorite dessert of all time. And I haven’t had any in months. Poor Mikey!


Mr. Sombrero
I try not to deprive myself of delicious foods. I keep it in moderation and decrease the intake.
I did replace unhealthy snacks with nuts and fruits. The trick is to completely banish unhealthy foods from your surroundings so one does not fall into temptation in the time of crisis. I do find myself dreaming of Twix PB bars.


Adam
Nearly a month ago, I gave up two foods that are awful for you. Those foods? Mustard and pickles. I miss them so much!  Mustard and pickles are commonly known as the most fattening foods on the planet. By avoiding only these foods, I will slim down to the size of an Olsen twin.  I miss them greatly, but it’s worth it!


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

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28 Responses to Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 5

  1. The Ryan Sans Cupcake March 29, 2012 at 12:38 am

    Mikey: I get the single serving ice cream cups. They help a lot with portion control.

    • Mikey March 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm

      I can only do this if it is Ben & Jerry’s! Thanks for the tip though!

      • The Ryan Sans Cupcake March 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm

        I mostly get Ben & Jerry’s. My favorite is cookie dough, but I also pick up a selection of mint chocolate cookie, fudge brownie, and strawberry cheesecake.

  2. melliots March 29, 2012 at 4:31 am

    This post is making me hungry.

    • Adam March 29, 2012 at 9:52 am

      Me too! I want chips, vegan ice cream and fancy little desserts!

      • Craig March 29, 2012 at 1:02 pm

        LOL too bad vegans can’t have fancy little desserts! LOL YOUR LIFE SUCKS

        • Adam March 29, 2012 at 1:06 pm

          :(

          • Craig March 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm

            LOLZ

        • TwoPi March 29, 2012 at 1:47 pm

          When Xi-Heather and I got married, she made our wedding cakes. Five of them. One of them was vegan, and quite good.

          • Craig March 29, 2012 at 2:01 pm

            Wow, that’s really cool! The dining hall up at college used to make this really awesome vegan chocolate peanut butter pie. It was amazing. Even with these experiences, I still reserve the right to make fun of Adam for being a vegan.

  3. Craig March 29, 2012 at 6:24 am

    Adam hates mustard and pickles, so basically he isn’t even trying. Great job everyone else!

    • Adam March 29, 2012 at 10:15 am

      BUSTED!

      • Craig March 29, 2012 at 1:03 pm

        Ew gross, keep that to yourself.

        • Adam March 29, 2012 at 1:07 pm

          lolz!

  4. Tam March 29, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Great job everyone. I’m #3. Woohoo. Bronze medal position. I agree with TwoPi. I find it really hard to have to be thinking all the time. And the choices. Buying soup in the cafeteria sounds easy, but nooooo. You have no idea what’s in it. You can’t eat a spoonful of casserole because everything has to be weighted out and measured individually. It’s tiring. I get tired of thinking about food all the time.

    • Tam March 29, 2012 at 7:23 am

      Shoot. Don’t know if I clicked the follow-up button.

    • The Ryan Sans Cupcake March 29, 2012 at 10:31 am

      I didn’t do this at all yesterday. :(

  5. poltguy March 29, 2012 at 8:30 am

    Four weeks and I’m still hugging the bottom. That’s okay, that’s one of my favorite things to do. :)

    HUGS…

    • Adam March 29, 2012 at 10:15 am

      You heard it here first, folks! Polt loves being on the bottom.

      • poltguy March 29, 2012 at 10:19 am

        Hugging the bottom, not being the bottom. And even so, this ain’t the FIRST time this has ‘been heard’. Craiggers did it in a guest post on the Palace back in 09. You’re only three years…(wait for it)…behind! :)

        HUGS….

        • Adam March 29, 2012 at 10:21 am

          Oh, it’s been said many more times than that — but this is the first time that you’ve admitted to being a bottom.

          • Craig March 29, 2012 at 10:24 am

            I KNEW IT! Polt is such a power bottom.

            • The Ryan Sans Cupcake March 29, 2012 at 10:44 am

              Doesn’t that require a cape?

              • Craig March 29, 2012 at 11:12 am

                Yeah, but only because Polt doesn’t have a hairthing to hold onto.

  6. Mikey March 29, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    As Jenna said on 30 Rock….me want foooooooooooooooooooooooooood!

  7. nathanvs March 29, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    I could totally go for some mustard and pickles now…

    • Craig March 29, 2012 at 2:01 pm

      Me too!

  8. Michelle M. March 29, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    I’m still hungry.

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