Friday night I visited Mr. Sombrero. He lives an hour away, and I had a feeling that with the impending storm, it’d be the only chance that I’d get to see him all weekend. We went out to dinner, and walked around town a bit. We found a park with a lake, and since it wasn’t too late, we decided to go for a stroll. We were almost all the way around the lake when something wet hit my foot, causing me to jump and yelp. It felt kind of like a wet dog’s nose — but I quickly realized that it was actually a large frog. I guess I had crossed its path exactly at the wrong time, resulting in a damp and forceful collision. The frog hardly seemed to notice, and continued hopping on its way to the lake. With a quick splash it was gone.
I’ve been toying with the idea of returning to the land of vegetarianism lately. A week or so ago I ate a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup (there’s dairy in the chocolate) and was quickly stricken with a rather oppressive migraine. At dinner with Mr. Sombrero that night, I tried a tiny morsel of his meal (which contained honey) and about an hour later I was attacked by a large frog. Coincidence? I think not.
Clearly the universe wants me to maintain my vegan lifestyle. Or am I just being ridiculous?
I miss pizza.
While some of you were digging out your umbrellas, battening down the hatches, and stocking up on bottled water, candles and Cheetos, Harry and I were on our way to see Kathy Griffin in concert!
I made a shirt for the occasion. This is my first foray into bedazzling. Yes, I know the “I” is crooked.
On our way to Costa Mesa.
It’s so great to be back in California! Colorado sucked.
We got into a little traffic on our way.
Yay! “Pop Music” by M.
Shout out to the Oldz (you know who you are).
I got hungry and needed a snack.
We had dinner at Gordon Biersch. Beer for Harry and a caramel martini for me. Yum!
I had the chicken curry lettuce cups (ok, but not very spicy – and the dish needed some lime).
Harry had a sausage party.
We had to pay for parking!! Don’t they know who we are?!! Sheesh.
On the way in we saw Team Griffin – or as Kathy calls them, “her gays”. It was cool to see them in person after seeing them with her on the My Life on the D-List, Same Name, and other shows.
We were second row, it was too awesome.
Kathy had tweeted that this was what she was going to wear, but really she wore black pants, a black shirt with a belt and flats. She is super tiny and has a Scarlett O’ Hara waist.
We went to the first show that night. They were taping both shows for a Bravo special to air in the middle of September. Kathy’s mom Maggie came out (with a glass of wine) to say a few words and introduce Kathy. She got a standing ovation and was adorable. Kathy was hilarious, of course. Some of her bits included the Kardashians, Cher, Anderson Cooper, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Marcus Bachman and Casey Anthony.
Harry (best husband ever) won a contest on Kathy’s blog to meet her between shows! So we hustled around to the back of the theater and then waited in a room backstage with 16 other people for a meet and greet. She only had a few minutes, so she wasn’t signing autographs. She was there just long enough to give hugs and take pictures. She was warm, engaging and super sweet to everyone.
I told her my cheeks still hurt from smiling and she said, “Thanks, that means I’m doing my job.”
She liked my shirt. As you can see we are totally bff!
She had done a bit about how she walks down the street and eyef*cks all the guys, so I asked her to eyef*ck Harry – and she did! I also asked her if she watched Dance Moms, and she said, “Of course.” I should have said something better, but I was an excited mess. Then she was ushered back out the door. It was all a blur and over way too soon. Kathy’s one of those people I would love to sit down and have a long chat with. I LOVE her.
Before the long drive home, Harry and I stopped at The Yardhouse and shared a brownie with ice cream (Diet? What diet?).
Other than briefly shaking James Taylor’s hand before one of his concerts, this was my first celebrity encounter. I couldn’t have asked for a better one!
So – did I not have the best night ever? What would you have said to Kathy? What celebrity would you love to meet? Let me know in the comments!
After another shocking number of votes in just 24 hours (476!), “The Kid” has claimed victory in the second match of Cocky & Rude Round 2. “The Kid” voted her own way to victory (allegedly) with an impressive 381 votes, or 80% of the popular vote. Despite her campaigning, Tam came in second place and earned only 71 votes, or 15% of the popular vote. Proving that people don’t really care about bunnies, John earned only 24 votes, or a measly 7% of the popular vote to claim last place.
CONGRATULATIONS TO “THE KID”!
What were Mikey and Jeopardy! Champion Ty Cone thinking?!
Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Submit your potential What Were They Thinking?! photos to:
cockyandrudedotcom@gmail.com
Adam and Michelle’s friendly five divided by two post last week inspired me to explore the math of the amazing number five. I know you have come to love (or loathe) my awesome super fantastic five videos to watch posts, but I’m getting tired of them. Luckily I was just on vacation and I was inspired to write the five best things about vacation and the five worst things about coming back from vacation. That’s the good news. The bad news is that you will have to wait an entire week to read all of these things because like any good blogger I have divided them up into two posts to make my life easier. So without further ado, I give you the five betterest best things about vacation.
Sun
Ok. So I know that I have been a strong advocate for banning summer all together. Something about the fact that I sweat and cry whenever the temperature gets above 50 degrees outside makes you wonder why I would say something zany like the sun is awesome. But when you are on vacation, you sit on the beach reading a book in the sun. This is inherently awesome. It combines my geekiness with my laziness. Score!
Books
Some people take a vacation and don’t make their brains do anything. I take a vacation and allow my brain to go into hyperdrive. I don’t even read beach fluff or anything; I go hardcore and read four relatively deep books. I loved it! Sure some people would think reading about poverty, abuse, Nazis and sexual repression are terrible things to read on the beach. Thankfully I am not them.
Sleep
Not having to get up to go to work has its benefits. The primary one being that I get to sleep like it is the weekend all the time. Yet unlike the weekend wherein I sleep in and then pay for it on Monday morning, I got to relax and just enjoy a prolonged period of getting up when I god damn feel like it. This is the superb.
Food
When on vacation, I take the chance to eat anything and everything. I go highbrow and lowbrow with my caloric intake. You might recall that my beach vacation is well known for the consumption of cheese balls, but you probably didn’t know that we added a new cheesy concoction to the mix: Combos! After all that faux cheese, I also enjoyed real cheese on sandwiches and tacos and in lasagna. I also ate the most magical food ever: Hush puppies. Yay!
Friends
I have been blessed to be able to go on a few trips recently. Between Jeopardy!, the cruise, and the beach vacation there has been one common thread: good company = an amazing time. Spending time with the people I love doing the four things above (not all of them with all of them) is one of the most amazing things I could have ever expected.
That’s it folks. My vacation was so awesome that I had to write about it. In a week you will remember this fondly as we trudge through why vacations ending is like the apocalypse. Until then, share your thoughts on my vacation bests and some thoughts about your vacation bests, too!
Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO! The rules to the game are simple. Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters. We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind. Then we’ll put the results to vote. You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…
Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote. Today’s contestants are: Tam, “The Kid” and John.
All the way back on Tam’s birthday, May 5th, Tam faced off against the butter-loving Food Networker, Paula Deen. It was a slippery battle (mostly because they kept squirting butter and Vegemite at each other), but in the end Tam claimed the prize with 84% of the popular votes.
While I may be the senior member of this trifecta, I believe I have some abilities that the others do not. On the one hand, I control the life of said most junior member. Party on Saturday? HAHAHAHA, yeah right. How about cream cheese and tomato sandwiches in your lunch every day for the next term? I have skillz. I may be old, but I’m wiley, I’ve got experience on my side and taking out a rabbit and a teenager easily distracted by cute boys and wedding dresses will be a snap. I have the appropriate Tumblr blogs bookmarked and carrots ready for step one in my plan: distraction. They are going down. -Tam
The next week we dropped Tam’s daughter, “The Kid” into the C&R Fight Club ring with the formidable Rebecca Black. The Friday pop princess did not stand a chance against “The Kid” and trusty steed, Sprinkles the Pony. “The Kid” won her surprisingly close match with 59% of the popular vote.
Do you actually think you’ll win against me? I’m Jack’s smirking revenge. I’m Jack’s cold sweat. Hell, I’m even Jack’s raging bile duct. I’m the all-singing, all dancing crap of this world, but I’m done with this, these are my words now. I’ll pull the rabbit out of the hat and send my mother back home. I spend my nights in a cage and my days at the underground. I’m made of steel and have youth on my side, ’cause I be eating a Triple Big Mac with an extra large fry. Ain’t no body more beast then I, are you even going try and call that a lie? Give me a chance to unleash my world of fury because when you leave the match your vision is gonna be blurry! -”The Kid”
After all the Tam family fun, we pitted John (the bunny) against all four of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the battle of ‘Turtles vs. the Hare!” But unlike Aesop’s classic tale, John defeated the turtle foursome with an impressive 88% of the popular vote.
I sense some dissention in the ranks and I am going to exploit that by pitting mom against daughter. Forget the fact that I am taller than both combatants, combined. I am going to first side with the Kid. She can wear that top, she can stay out after midnight, no, she can’t talk to Adam, it will scar her for life. Once Tam is out of the way, I will pick off the Kid! – John
Who will win in the battle of Tam vs. “The Kid” vs. John? There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.
Check back on Sunday for the results!
Thanks to Michelle M., Tam, Kristin & John for your assistance with this post!
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