In case you were not aware, I’m what scientists refer to as a “homosexual.” In layman’s terms, that means that I’m a guy that is sexually attracted to other guys. Females of the species need not apply. And unlike many of my homosexual brothers, I have never tasted (nor stuck my aroused unit into) the mysterious pink wonderland that is known as a “vagina.” Why not? Simply put: vaginas are gross! Here’s 10 reasons why:
1. They’re foreign! What is that thing? It looks like a mess of flappy skin with a hole in the middle. Ew!
2. What’s in there? Teeth? I saw that movie … it was quite eye-opening.
3. They’re smelly! I hear that they often smell of fish sticks and cabbage that has sat in the sun for a bit too long.
4. Yeast infections! I’m not even sure what a yeast infection is … but ew! Wash that thing out once and a while!
5. Periods! Menstrual cycle? Yuck! Why is there blood dripping out of your vagina?
If it’s bleeding, then maybe you should just let it die!
6. Babies come out of them! WTF! How does a freak’n baby fit through that hole? That’s disgusting!
7. The clitoris. Straight guys can’t find it … I don’t even know what it is!
And upon research … is it just a tiny penis?
8. Queefs? My dick never farts … why are there farts coming from your frontside?
9. How do they work? Where does the penis go? Where does the pee come out of?
Can Google Maps help me? Please?
10. It’s not a penis! ‘Nuff said!
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Michelle M. Mondays – now on Puntabulous!!
YES!
noooo!
Possibly my favorite post ever.
Ummm. Ooookay. Yeah. Uhhh. Mmmhmmm. Well.
The first sign of a fantastic blog post: It leaves the readers speechless.
And thanks for finally going back to giving me shout outs in the tags! I was starting to give up on reading through all that bullshit!
ha! I think you’re the only one that reads my tags.
I can personally attest to the fact that not ALL vaginas are icky, or stinky, or bloody (well, ALL of them are at one time or another granted, but still). However, that being said, They can’t compare to a penis.
Have you heard the song “Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny” by the Bloodhound Gang? Cracks me up, everytime! and it covers some the of the territory you’ve mentioned here.
HUGS….
Straight men in reality are in love with penis, but they can’t admit it in public. Why? Cuz if you really love vagina, and are disgusted by penis, why not get rid of what disgusts you and get what you love? Proof is in the doing, a man who gets a vagina and marries a woman really does love vagina, all others are penis loving pretenders.
Wtf? Are you mentally ill? Cause you are sounding like it.
I think I’m going to be sick.
The only thing more nasty are the straight guys who worship these things.
two favorite things about this post
1) the vagina is labeled as anus
2) Oprah says Queef. “Today on the Oprah Winfrey Show Dr Oz talks to us about Queeeeefffffffiiiiiiiiiiiing!”
Vaginas are quasi-anuses. Often they connect too…when girls wipe back to front, or when the vaginal wall collapses and connects up…
Adam’s tempting a Freaky Friday body switch. That would be fun to watch.
According to Google Maps, Texas is America’s vagina. Florida remains America’s wang.
So according to Google Maps, America’s a hermaphordite? Whatever will the wingnuts say about that?
HUGS…
1. Hey, don’t knock it until you try it.
2. They aren’t that mysterious.
3. Polt established that they aren’t all icky, gross or smelly.
4. The clitoris isn’t that difficult to find.
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XD idk how the hell I ended up on this website but I laughed so fucking hard lol. But it’s obvious you’re gay cause the clitoris, it ain’t that hard to find bro, and most of the one’s I’ve seen aren’t that gross. Still, Oprah queefing and the baby trying to get out the hole was pretty damn funny.
Wow, I’m gay, and I don’t even think vaginas are weird, I mean seriously, compare them to penises… those things are defiantly the weirdest thing on the human body! My friend Jack is the straightest guy I know and he doesn’t worship vaginas, he almost threw up learning about them in middle school!
I don’t discriminate! boobs and penises are also gross!
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Google lead me here, for some reason.
I’ll admit, that is a pretty funny article. But, I’d much rather stick my junk into a vagina than inside the terminal end of another man’s digestive tract.
;p lol so funny but true
Wtf!! what ever prick made this website is a fucking arsehole lads aren’t so differnt there fucking distusting too , anyone could make a website about penis’s what a twat !!!!
Anyone could make a website, but sadly it seems that not everyone can heckle with ferocity and use appropriate spelling and grammar. Adam is definitely a twat though, I’ll give you that.
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Ok, yeah, I have officially shunned you. I am 15 years old. A female. With a vagina, by the way. Let me go over all your points here:
1.) Yeah, sure, vaginas look like baby aliens, but really? Penises don’t?
2.) WTF?
3.) Not all vaginas smell and you can’t purely say that based off of what you heard alone. A gay man who has never tasted a pussy cannot tell anyone else what one tastes like based solely on what they heard.
4.) Which brings us to a related topic: not all women have yeast infections.
5.) Did you miss middle school health where you learned all about reproduction? A woman bleeds every month because an egg is released from the Fallopian tube. If that egg is not fertilized by a sperm, then the uterus sheds its lining and disposes of the egg. The blood is tissue and the uterus cleaning itself out.
6.) And, obviously you’re just trying to flaunt your gayness (I’m not homophobic; in fact I love gay men, but you sound like an obnoxious one) by saying babies are not miracles. How can you not think it is amazing for a sperm and an egg to make a freaking human baby!?!?!; how one cell can turn into trillions?!?!?! And yeah, childbirth isn’t a walk in the park for mothers, either. Men think they have it hard because they see everything going on down there. That’s NOTHING. Apparently childbirth hurts like hell. You try squeezing a baby’s head out of a 10 cm hole. It’s relatively gross, but still worth it.
7.) Dude, what straight guy doesn’t know where a clit is? And how would you know? It’s not like you’ve ever seen one in real life, so shut the fuck up.
8.) Ah, queefing. Can’t really explain that.
9.) Again, were you absent the day of health class where you learned about the reproduction system and the vagina? I’m too lazy to explain the anatomy of a woman to you because you’re too stupid and incompetent to figure it out. Or a troll.
10.) OH, ‘CUZ PENISES ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN VAGINAS? Cum? Don’t even think about it? Balls? Gross. And yes, I’m straight.
Holy shit, what an obnoxious cunt.
Queefing is simply when air gets trapped inside the vagina.
It wouldn’t gross you out, maybe cause a little giggling under the sheets, but really I’d tell him that he’s in denial of his secret obsession over vaginas. Pointing out that there’s a mini penis in them kind of gives it away. Maybe vaginas are gross, but then so are penises. Both genders have assholes, both genders have boobs and both genders have estrogen. Some more than others, but lets be real.
If queefing is just a gist of why there are gay men in this world… More gay men= less babies in this world & cheers to the distinction of his vagina hating genes.
@ Megan
OH MY GOD IT’S JUST A JOKE GET OVER YOURSELF
Maybe I was joking too man. In the famous words of JK: “It’s just a joke. Get over yourself.”
In order for something to be a joke it should be . . .well, funny, and have the appearance of at least attempting such. All you did was be obnoxious and then try to claim it as a joke. The article is just a joke, it’s not trying to make you feel bad for having a vagina. Any person could find things that are gross about dicks . . .all genitalia is pretty gross. Relax, it’s a joke.
Vaginas are disfuckingscusting
Yeah, I can’t understand how babies come out of these disgusting holes (or should we say quasi-anuses. lol). Ew… I am going to vomit if my face sees these things. XD
Wow. What an obnoxious site for insecure gay men. The reality is that most men love pussy… get over it. No, most men aren’t secretly pining for another mans penis and don’t have a desire to stick their penis in another mans digestive track; but hey, if that’s what gay guys like to think to make themselves feel better then go for it… But that’s pretty sad. Good for you that you’re gay, but this site is pretty disrespectful towards women and not very funny. Im sure most gay men wouldnt find a website devoted to how revolting gay sex is very funny. I hope someday you all learn to stop being so insecure.
Maybe because we constantly hear from you pricks how disgusting what we do is? After most of my life listening to how I’m wrong/stupid/weird/going to Hell/etc. for not enjoying that face-sucker, I think we have every right to explain WHY we don’t like them. A man touching another man (same for women) is not that big of a step because you have the same bits. The vagina is foreign, mysterious territory to us. Also for all the dumbfucks talking about us sticking our penises in the digestive track: Do you considered yourself sticking it into a women’s pisshole/blood cannon? No. You’re sticking it into a vagina. We’re sticking it into an ass. They’re both clean when we have sex. Get over yourself you self-righteous cunt.
LOL we love women because they’re different then us.. its not rocket science to understand that
they’re human too they’re not from Mars or something…
Digestive track ain’t MEANT for penis to enter… its not.. and having constant Anal Sex would latter result in Rectal nerve tearing.. and semen in that area pretty much makes it more unhealthy
Vagains in the other hand are NOT a digestive track so obviously they don’t STINK 24/7
And do you know that female piss hole is different ? they don’t piss from vaginas you DUMBASS !
and WTF Is up with you people going to sexual organs huh ??
Isn’t it pretty fucking low of you guys ? Pretty pathetic i’d say because i think i care less about the sexual organs and more about the person i LOVE !
Anal Sex <<<<<<< Vaginal sex
Breasts/vagina <<<<<<<<<<<<< Throbbing penis
I can't fucking imagine how to have sex with another fucking throbbing penis its IMPOSSIBLE!
Oh Grammatical mistake i meant to say
Breasts/Vagina >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Throbbing penis XD
You’re a homophobic prick. First of all, plenty of heterosexuals have anal sex, and plenty of homosexual men don’t.
Who are you to say whether vaginal sex is better than anal sex, or whether breasts and vaginas are superior to penises? It’s simply a matter of opinion.
And for the last time, this list is a FUCKING JOKE.
Straight people are extremely rude to gays too, so they have right to say things like this. Also, if they feel better about themselves saying things like this, they have the right to go ahead and say it. Freedom of speech!
That did not phase me at all. Still lesbian. Still loving them.
I don’t really care.. that’s how nature has made us like
Women are my only love interest and they’re more beautiful and slender then men…
PERHAPS Penises are way more awkward to handle then a vagina which is internal penis is an external organ…
I smell 90% gay in this article LMAO i mean wtf why would i even want to think about a a penis ? I already have one and i know how it exactly feels like and it does not want to hug another throbbing penis
Now here is where the real truth lies XD
Well women being better looking than men is your opinion. I personally find men better looking than women.
This list is obviously a joke. He also made fun of penises and boobs. Of course your tiny brain can’t comprehend that.
And so what if he’s gay? Who are you to say gays are inferior to straights? Great job at being a homophobe, cunt.
Homophobe ? LOL what ? just because i don’t like men sexually i’m a homophobe ?
This article is FAR from a joke and filled with hate& jealously of women
Women are way more aesthetically pleasing and its proven in History as many artists around the world have portrayed them as
My brain is FAR from “Tiny” because i can understand gay sexuality but you people here don’t seem to comprehend the fact that Straight people are INFACT Straight
I’m a girl, and while I’m straight, I found this absolutely hilarious (In a good way). Many of you are judging each other on your sexuality, and none of you are correct. It is perfectly fine to be straight, and perfectly normal to be gay or lesbian. What’s not okay is that the world is so prissy on sexuality.
For those who say they’ll puke if they see a vagina, sorry but get over it. You may have fun with your boyfriend and his penis, but please don’t insult my vagina. Yeah, blood comes out and shit but uh, your pee and your lil sperm buddies come out the same hole. Besides, you don’t see me insulting penises and I’m pretty proud of my vagina.
For you dumbasses who say that gay ain’t okay, FUCK OFF. Seriously, this is a nationwide struggle. Gay: Okay or not? Well, they’re just like you and me, just attracted to different sexes. There is nothing wrong with gays, and there is nothing that makes you superior to them. We are all equal human beings who are all going to heaven unless someone rapes or murders or abuses someone else(which is what the nation should be focusing on, because it’s happening all around us everyday and “politicians” are worried if somebody’s married gay or not, not that thousands of people are literally in hell every moment they’re alive).
We are all equal, don’t degrade one another.
Oh, and by the way, if me, a thirteen year old girl can see this and some forty year old government official can’t, we need to worry about who’s running America above everything.
Don’t hate, just speaking my mind.
Agreed
Well said. I especially agree with worrying about who’s running America above all. I know Gracie that you don’t want people to “hate” your opinion, but others have opinions too. It’s not wrong to not want people to disagree with you, but by telling them how to feel towards your opinion would then make you a hypocrite. I’m sure you’re familiar with this, it helps to be more aware.
Above all, love what you hate. There’s a fine line between the two.
Fuck this queer as well as 98% of all the other people that commented, just go and do whatever, but don’t make a fucking blog about it, and just so were clear, I don’t have gays nor do I have any problem with them, but who are you to say this horrible thing about the most beautiful creatures on earth, my conclusion is fuck you.
I actually more like 45% of the people I this chatroom
lol, women are DEFINITELY not the most beautiful creatures on earth………
Were all made up of the same entity, were equally beautiful creatures. (:
Alright, coming from someone who regularly puts their d*** in something that s*** comes out of, really valid argument. Btw, I know it’s a joke , but women who know how to take care of their “equipment” don’t have an abnormal smell.
The only men that go into detail about their promiscuity at my work are gay. Two former employees had HIV, and are still promiscuous. One even went as far as to tell me his boyfriend made him bleed last night, without me asking. Another told me his boyfriend had syphilis once. Yeah it happens to straight people too , but I don’t want to hear it, think ill puke. If I was gay I wouldn’t have anal for fear of a saggy loose anus when I’m 50. I don’t care what people say regular anal sex is wrong and disgusting, and unnatural. Anyone who says differently has a mental problem. I don’t respect anyone who doesn’t have respect for themselves or others, straight gay or otherwise. I have a few gay friends I respect, but many give gay men a bad name, including those who act like 10 year olds, ‘vaginas are icky’ Seriously grow up you came out of one and wouldn’t be here without it.
This really offended me.