Cocky&Rude

As I’m sure you already know, I’ve been on vaycay for a week. Live’n it up at the Jersey Shore (minus that orange troll Snookie and the guy who always shows off his abs) was all sorts of fun in the sun. Here are some of the highlights:

While I managed to not burn my face (much), I did discover that I have hundreds of thousands of freckles.  My freckles faded away when I became ancient, but the sun brought them screaming back.  If you connect all the dots, I’d almost look tan!  Damn the ginger curse!

I will never, ever miss an opportunity to make an ugly face for the camera.  I wore this ugly “Island Sounds” t-shirt in case I was swept out to sea.  The bright color would hopefully attract a sexy lifeguard who would then give me mouth to mouth, and we’d live happily ever after.  It didn’t work.

On Thursday of last week, I checked out the Barnegat Lighthouse State Park.  It was a little over an hour’s drive from where I was staying.

Here I am on the rock jetty that runs for hundreds of miles.  I defied death and walked all the way to the end of the slippery rocks.

On the way back, I got my arm stuck between a few rocks.  But no worries … after waiting a few minutes for someone to rescue me, I just lopped it off and continued on my way.

Before leaving, I paused for a moment to give the lighthouse a friendly liiiiiiiiick.

While on vacation, I also found time to play a few games of miniature golf.  Here is the giant statue of Barnacle Bill at Barnacle Bill’s Amusements.

After a quick inspection of the bum and package area…

I gave him a hearty thumbs-up approval!

Evenings at the beach are always good for a board game with your friends and family.  With just a few more letters, I could have spelled “Butt Fucked!”

But like all vacations from reality, my week has come to an end.  Now it’s time to get back to work!  BOOOOO!  Did ya miss me?